Second Acts

August 2, 2005

Volume 1, issue 2 - August

Change is Powerful
By Michele Alexander Owner of 4 The Perfect Fit Coaching and Consulting

Why is change so powerful? How does this energy create such struggles in us? What causes us to resist it, even when we know we want to transform our lives? Is change a bad word the takes us out of our comfort zone? Is it risky? Do we the feel that change is the thing we do when nothing else is working? Are we losing anything when we change ourselves? What do we gain? Will people respond negatively to our life change? Why do we care? There are no clear-cut answers to any of these questions.

Maybe the questions we should be asking ourselves, are why do I not want to move into an area of life that could bring me joy and prosperity? Is it fear of the unknown? Is this something that I can or cannot afford to live without? Only you can answer these questions. But if your questions are, should I invite change into my life? What is the true passion I'm trying to discover? Or, how do I change my life successfully? This ezine will address some of these challenges.

Seven Strategies For Successful Life Change

By Michele Alexander

Change is difficult. We are always are excited when we first start a challenge; but the journey can become problematic. I have captured seven strategies to help you make a more successful transformation. Here they are.

1. Commit to change. It is always hard to change when, a change it is something we know we should do, but aren't ready to attempt. In most cases, lack of commitment, increases the likelihood of failure. To combat this, write a promise letter to yourself, about the life adjustment you aspire to achieve. In your letter, say goodbye to what's holding you back and note the reasons why you want to accomplish your goal. Put the letter in an envelope and place it in a Bible, inspirational book or journal. Now your challenge will become a reality. Review this letter when you need inspiration or have a setback.
   
   
2. Decide what your goal(s) is or are? Setting objectives can be the hardest thing to do, when attempting, a major lifestyle; goal or career change. Goals are difficult to set. Because, when establishing your objective, you may come to the realization that there maybe many smaller targets that build on your major aspiration. Therefore, it is important to clarify your purpose(s). You do this by asking yourself questions? Do you want to run your own business? Do you want to lose or gain weight? Do you want to be in a healthy relationship? …Etc. Ask yourself why? Just write down the answers. There may be one or many. This will allow you to focus on your ambition in the most effective way.
   
   
3. Get support. How many of us decide that we can do something on our own? However, physically and mentally we respond to what our partners, children, friends and colleagues say or do consciously or unconsciously. Support and partnerships increases the possibility of success for businesses; why can't it work for us as an individuals? It can. Tell the appropriate people around you what you are doing. They may even partner with you; because, they have a similar aspirations. Get a therapist or coach. Join a support group. Become a member of a list-serve that addresses the life change you are trying to achieve. The Internet has developed many communities that assist in finding support to bring about almost any life change.
   
   
4. Know your steps. This makes achieving your desires more manageable and helps you set realistic expectations. Many times when we decide we want to modify a behavior or try something new, we forget that learning something new, whether skills or changing behaviors is a process. Many of us set objectives that are so unrealistic; we fail in our attempts to accomplish them in the first few months, weeks, or days. Change doesn't occur overnight. Break your goals up into task. This helps you to create manageable obstacles that are inevitable in achieving your goal(s). When you set realistic expectations, setbacks will not be roadblocks that cause you to fail; but are challenges that you will overcome.
   
   
5. Acknowledge that there may be setbacks. Stumbling blocks can occur when we are doing anything. Support will address hardships that can crop up. If you are trying to lose weight and decide to go on vacation for a week, you may be afraid that you may not lose weight or even gain weight that week. Is the solution to not go on vacation? "No!!!" Vacations are important. They feed you mentally and spiritually. That's important for your well-being. However, if you are on a list-serve or attending a support group, members may offer you tips to help you with your challenges while on vacation. Ask for help and try to maintain a since of humor.
   
   
6. Celebrate milestones or benchmarks. Reward yourself with something that doesn't negate what you are doing? If you get a new job or lose weight, buy and outfit to celebrate. Also, become you own cheerleader. Look in a mirror and tell yourself how that you did a good job. It works and it doesn't cost anything.
   
   
7. Own your goal. This is the most important step to success. When doing something that will change your life, whether is big or small, remember you are changing your life for you. You are worth it.

Now, you have the information that will prepare you in realizing a successful life change. Go for it and live your best life. 

I’d love to see your statement and hear your feedback this article.  Email them to Michele Alexander at coach@4ThePerfectFit.com.

…and remember

Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.

--Unknown—

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The Art of Adapting to Change
By Michael Lee

One of the main reasons that may hinder us from reaching our innermost goals and desires is our inability to be flexible.

This fact may be hard to swallow, but it's true. We do everything we can to eliminate any type of suffering in our lives, yet challenges and pressures can bring out the best in us.

If you have been burdened by mistakes in the past, learn from them, forget about them, and move on. Some people tend to focus on how bad their lives have been due to these mistakes. As a result, they remained stuck in their miserable lives.

Treat your mistakes as lessons, and apply them as learning references in your future endeavors.

So what if you invested in a business and you lose a ton of money? In this situation, some people would remain deeply discouraged for a long time that their personal lives are being affected negatively. They can't eat well and they just stare at the ceiling all night long, thinking how this bad incident happened. Furthermore, they would probably vow not to venture into new opportunities again.

You don't have to be like them. If you're afraid to fail, then you risk all your chances to achieve your goals in life. Try again; but this time, be more careful and use your past mistakes as guide maps.

Look at it this way. If you try, at least you get a 50% chance of getting what you want. But if you did not try at all, you have absolutely no chance of attaining your desires in life. It's a no-brainer.

But when you try, make sure you follow through. I've met so many people who have accepted my proposal to write reports for me, but most of them would stop right in the middle of their work and quit. They have the drive to start, but they lack the motivation to go through all the difficulties. Yes, this is another fact of life. Those who persist may have some hell of a time at present, but they shall have the last laugh.

Let's fast forward into the future. Let's say you did try, you followed through, and you succeeded. Congratulations. So you became wealthy by reaping the fruits of your labor. This does not mean you'll stay in that situation for good. Problems may rise again, so always be ready to adjust to the current situation. The only thing permanent in this world is change.

If you need to sacrifice something for a better cause, then do it. If you have to miss your favorite show on TV or if you have to deny your friends' invitation to go out on a Saturday night so that you can devote more time to those activities that will lead you closer to your goals, so be it.

You may encounter difficulties. You may receive criticisms. You may even be regarded as being "different" or "strange" by other people. Don't let them discourage you. Just keep on striving, and success will be yours for the taking.

About The Author

Michael Lee is the author of "How To Be A Red Hot Persuasion Wizard," an ebook that reveals powerful secrets on how to get anything you want, including how to fully improve your relationships, explode your profits, win arguments, and magically influence others. Grab a sample chapter at http://www.20daypersuasion.com.

Change Your Mind, Shift Your Life
by: Sonia Haynes.

Everyone can draw from the Universal Reserve Bank. What is it, you ask?

It has taken me years of inner searching to realize the answer!

I have come to believe each human being is wealthy. We are completely surrounded by abundance, and this abundance takes many forms; we all have an infinite number of cells in our bodies, as well as limitless thoughts, ideas, hope, and love for ourselves and others.

As wealthy as we are, the #1 quest for many of us is the search for financial abundance. In order to achieve this, it is necessary to know our true desires and cash in on our assets at the Universal Reserve Bank (URB). This is available to each and every one of us.

Assets do not always have to be monetary. Look within yourselves. I, like Tina Turner, who insured her legs for several million dollars, have come to recognize that I am the asset. I am wealthy. I am the Universal Reserve Bank (URB). Now that I know the secret, I live consciously, in the now, knowing that each time I use my skills and I am paid, I am defining how much I am cashing in on my reserve.

We must learn that we are magnets for this abundance; we have the ability to draw it to us. To do this effectively, we must first identify what we desire, and then create positive affirmations to attract it to us.

This requires a shift in our thinking. For example, the imprinting I received in my early years stemmed from a life where there was money, but it wasn't spent on me, and therefore the message that was subconsciously conveyed was that I wasn't deserving of money.

This imprinting affected me throughout my life in many circumstances, creating businesses that would fail, not trying to attain wealth because I thought, "What's the point, I won't get it anyway?" I never went the distance. After many mishaps and failed ventures, I finally got to a place where I "changed my mind and shifted my life".

What I mean is that something needs to click inside of you, an "epiphany", so to speak, for things to start what some may call "gelling". This is a definitive moment when you may even feel a physical shift happen.

This has become my life's purpose: to assist others in "getting it". I wonder, what do you feel are your assets? Have you defined and are living the lifestyle of your choosing? Why not?! Choose the lifestyle you wish to have and draw from your bank account… Change Your Mind, Shift Your Life.

About The Author

Sonia Haynes is an international motivational speaker, radio and television guest, intuitive wealth & emotional coach, mystic and author of "The Power of Money". For more information about Sonia's products or workshops, please visit http://www.soniahaynes.com.

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Searching For Your Calling - Quest or Curse?
by: Nina Ham

Judging by the extraordinarily positive reader response to Po Bronson's, "What Should I Do With My Life?," people are aching for a sympathetic outlook on their stories of career dissatisfaction. They tend to be their own harshest critics, often riddled with self-doubt and embarrassment about not getting this "career thing" right. Maintaining a constructive attitude is challenging. In spite of contrary statistics - such as, the average American changes jobs eight times over the course of his/her lifetime - we still tend to harbor the expectation that we "should" decide by our late 20's/early 30's what we want to do and follow that thread for the remainder of our working lives. As T. puts it, "My search for work I'm passionate about is regarded by my friends like a child's drawing that's put up on the refrigerator…isn't that cute!"

If you're in a career transition, what's the finger-pointing you're doing at yourself? Does any of this sound familiar?

• If it doesn't look good on my resume, it doesn't count
• Maybe I should stop worrying about my calling and get a job
• I've never been happy in a job…I need to look elsewhere for fulfillment
• I have responsibilities. I can't afford to look for work I love
• What if I find my dream job and I'm still dissatisfied?
• How will I explain to people…?
  

If this were taking place in a courtroom instead of inside your head, your attorney would undoubtedly argue for extenuating circumstances. Ask yourself the following:

What did you learn in your formal education about making a good career choice?

When were you encouraged to match your abilities, values, and personality to career options, and shown how?

Would you ever consider marrying someone you hadn't dated first?

Are you ever told that what you're qualified to do something that earns a decent wage is not sufficient reason to keep doing it?

Do you know where you can get reinforcement for continuing to search for work you're passionate about?

Did you have models for matching changes in work with changes in life stage?

Did you know that having an identity crisis or upheaval every 10 years is considered normal and healthy, and identity is largely shaped by love and work?

Case rests. Support systems for people in career transition are lagging woefully behind the sea changes that are occurring in the way we do work. But you are ultimately responsible for your attitude. Every day, the single most important decision you make is your outlook toward your search. Here are some suggestions for maintaining positive momentum:

Don't be afraid to make a temporary job move, to buy time and diminish the financial pressure. You can use it to check out some components of your eventual choice.

Consider the territory between your ears - worry, self-criticism, and confusion - a bad neighborhood. Don't hang out there alone. Talk with someone, a friend or a professional, who is more objective about you and your abilities than you are.

Don't shortchange your intuition. Trying to figure this out may not be the best way. Let some insights/hunches/visions come to you.

You're learning career development skills here. This will probably not be your final change.

Check out the Po Bronson's chatroom: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/life_goals. Your sense of being alone in your angst will dissolve.

And finally, here's a perspective I'd like to offer. Engaging courageously and wholeheartedly with the question "What should I do?" is the single most pro-active step you can take. After interviewing 900 people, Po concluded that the biggest obstacle to answering the question is guilt about taking it seriously. Work, when it's right, is how we forge our place in the world; the process of finding it clarifies and hones who we are and who we want to be. Asking the hard questions (What do I want? What impact do I want to have? Who do I want to become?) and giving time to the inner and outer research, is surely one of the most important life investments you can make.

About The Author

Nina Ham, certified coach and licensed psychotherapist, is principal of Success from the Inside Out, providing individual coaching and teleseminars to build the skills, attitudes and habits for sustainable success in your career or business. Mail to: Nina@womenssuccesscoach.com, subscribe in subject line, for free monthly e-zine, or visit http://www.SuccessfromtheInsideOut.com.
Nina@womenssuccesscoach.com

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Inspiration Corner

Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown.

--Anonymous--

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Contact information

Michele Alexander

Email:     coach@4ThePerfectFit.com

Phone:    (212) 987-6177

Web:       http://www.4ThePerfectFit.com

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